Part 2: What I learned from my trip
Barcelona, Catalonia
In mid-February, after almost ten months, except for small trips in the summer of 2020 when we all thought Corona was already over, I went on the road again. Actually, it was supposed to be only one month, but it turned out to be four. Three months in the Andalusian retreat center "Suryalila", one month in Barcelona and one week of yoga in Tuscany at the end. I would like to share with you what I learned.
Leave your ego at home
After this very special time in "Suryalila" I went to Barcelona. There I had planned another four-day yoga retreat with my sister Eva, led by Juliette van der Weijde. She is Dutch, lives in Berlin, but has also been around Spain as a little "Gypsy" like me. I shared a house with her in Andalusia for a few weeks and we became friends. The tall, well-toned blonde is a real looker, she is a backbending (backbends) expert and teaches yoga and Breathwork all over the world. At first glance, she may seem intimidating to some, but that's just the projection of her own inadequacy. She impressed me from the first moment with her confident demeanor and positive aura. Getting to know her made me realize again how important it is to support and encourage each other (especially women) to go their own way and to be inspired by other successful people for their own business. Instead of falling into thoughts of envy with women like Juliette, it's better to say to yourself, "Hey, how nice to know someone you can look up to a little bit, who can help you get ahead and from whom you can still learn so much."
Cherish the good times, find gratitude in its ending
My departure from Suryalila, especially a few days before, was very emotional. When others left, I had to cry and felt strong emotions inside me. Sandra and Detlev, my friends and clients from Germany, held a small shamanic ceremony with me to manifest my wishes. With my Swedish friend Olov I drank Amaretto in the pool, enjoyed an Eco-Shower under the open sky in the sun and received some small gifts from friends. My last evening I spent with my "Sury family" in our house with wine and co. and with the cats. The next day in the morning I took the fast train (AVE) from Seville directly to Barcelona in five and a half hours. On the platform I had the feeling to have been part of a slightly different world. Of course it was all real, I experienced it after all, but it was also a special time that won't come again like this. At such moments I always get a bit wistful, but I like this feeling. It shows me that it meant something to me. I will miss Suryalila, that infinite space, the view from above over a landscape or the sea, I love that. The feeling of freedom, peace and clarity. Here I have found not only a part of myself, but also friends for life. I have felt love, liveliness, tiredness and security. I have given and received a lot. Everything that you radiate, you get back sometime.
Eva, Christina, Barcelona
But it was also time to go. A new chapter and good friends from home were already waiting for me. In Barcelona I spent the first days with my sister and two good friends. Eating tapas, drinking cava, soaking up the sun - what more could you want?! The city is of course very different, livelier, louder, more exhausting. Actually not my thing, but in Barcelona there are also enough spots (like the many surrounding beaches) to relax. After Eva and I were then alone for the next three weeks, I also realized how much I wanted to live healthier again. The previous months had been intense, both mentally and physically, and my body now needed strengthening foods, more exercise and sleep. The famous balance, that's how it is in life. It comes and goes. Feelings come and go. People come and go. Nothing is for eternity and all that counts is the present moment. What remains are the memories, friends, the deep connection to a place or people.
The weeks with Eva were beautiful and challenging at the same time. To be on the road again with someone who knows you so well. Who knows everything about you, and yet for a long time was physically not part of your journey so far. We are so similar and yet so different. We keep holding up the mirror to each other and showing each other where our weak points are. It's exhausting, but I guess it's part of personal growth. I have to learn to express more clearly what I want. Because I often travel alone and need a lot of free space, many conversations and decisions already take place in my head. I work out many things with myself without communicating them afterwards. That is not always easy for others. But Eva and I are so strongly connected, nothing can break us apart so quickly. I have learned that we are "different" and seem to move outside "the norm". But what is "different" and "normal"? I don't like those words. "Normal" and "different" are not clearly definable. Just because everyone does it doesn't make something "normal." And just because you do it doesn't necessarily make it "different."
Can indulge
No matter what you do, there will always be people who criticize you. If you're a 33-year-old single woman, traveling the world alone, and you don't have kids, you're going to have to listen to questions. Why you are still single, if you don't want a man, why you don't have kids yet. If you are married and don't have children yet, you have to listen to the questions about the children and if you can leave your husband alone for such a long time, if he is already starving or when you will finally come back. Most of the time these questions are wrapped in "funny-meaning" comments. But in reality, it's just plain offensive. Why do people need to categorize us, put a stamp on us, or push us into a role? Because then they feel safe and validated in their own lives and don't have to question themselves. Everything that lies outside of how the majority of our society lives, many can not understand. We don't have to. I also don't understand many things that other people do or don't do. But it is not my job to judge the lives of others in order to feel better about them. Outdated gender stereotypes are still embedded in our minds and we don't even realize it. We just have to think if we would ask all these questions to a man. We don't have to think only in black or white. We can be strong and soft, independent and bound, free and secure. Because life is so much more beautiful and colorful when we can be who we are. In the end, all that matters anyway is that you live your life as you see fit. Because you are the most important person in your life. Live and let live and be able to indulge a little more, that's what I wish for!