Part 1: What I learned from my trip

Suryalila, Andalusia

In mid-February, after almost ten months, except for small trips in the summer of 2020 when we all thought Corona was already over, I went on the road again. Actually, it was only supposed to be one month, but it turned out to be four. Three months in the Andalusian retreat center "Suryalila", one month in Barcelona and one week of yoga in Tuscany. I would like to share with you what I learned.

Do it only for you

It was not my first trip, but it almost felt like it. I had already been at home for many months, mainly taking care of building up my self-employment after my world trip with my sister at the end of March 2020, meeting few friends and renting my own apartment in Vorarlberg again. I've either worked from home or spent a few days a week also at my agency in Bregenz, for which I work as a copywriter. I made myself really comfortable in my little comfort zone, not much happened in that time besides work. Get up, do yoga, go to the computer in yoga pants, work, eat, go for a walk, sleep and repeat. Everyday life, albeit a completely different one than usual, had me back. I still appreciate that I could spend this difficult time in such a privileged situation. My business was going well, I had a roof over my head, enough to eat, was healthy and could do every day professionally what I had always wanted to do. Above all, I am still grateful today for the meeting with Karin, the boss of my agency. She made the start of my self-employment so much easier. Sometimes you just meet the right people at the right time in the right place.

Breaking Free

But I am also grateful for my courage, because it has led me exactly to where I am today over the past few years. I always believed that I would get my chance at some point. I didn't know exactly how, when and where, but I did know that it would come. To always dare to take the step into the unknown and jump into the deep end, because that's the only way to grow. And how you grow in the process! That became clear to me during the two months in Andalusia. Directly from my lonely Corona existence into the community life in the yoga retreat "Suryalila". I didn't even know how much I needed that. In the meantime, I really like being alone, and I also need a lot of space and peace to be able to classify my thoughts and my experiences. But I didn't realize that I missed the social life until I returned to Spain. "Suryalila", translated "cosmic play of the sun" I knew from a yoga week three years ago, where I had already been to this magical place in the nowhere between Seville and Cadiz. Located on a hill, this little "workation" paradise is where I was able to satisfy my cravings again. From day one, I was part of a small family of yogis, freelancers, permaculture course participants and other free spirits who had the same idea as me. Together with roommates and two red cats, I shared a house, did yoga (almost) daily and worked from there. In the middle of nature, spring sun, green meadows and hills, llamas, alpacas, cats, dogs, horses, vegetarian food twice a day and the best sunsets you can imagine. Casual, relaxed and profound conversations with people who live similar but also completely different lifestyles. With people I took to my heart in no time and with whom I felt a deep connection, even though I hardly knew them. I finally felt alive and "at home" again for a long time. This little corona-free oasis was enough for me to be happy. Every now and then I would go out, especially on weekends, and visit the towns, cities, beaches and mountains in the area with friends. Life felt light and free again - at least for me. I was constantly around people, hardly needing time for myself, but able to take it if I wanted. That's what I like about the "yoga community" - you can, but you don't have to. Good vibes only. Well, almost!

There are many kinds of love

There was this one thing with love, or something like that. I've been single again for over a year now, and the fact that I've been able to meet so many interesting people in these months is something I would never have imagined by a long shot. Actually, I wanted to finally just focus on myself and my peace of mind, write the articles I kept putting off, read the books I've always wanted to read, immerse myself in my work and let the inspiration of this place take hold of me. But as it is in life, things turn out differently first and second than you think. Also, the chances of meeting a man who suits you are not very high in a yoga retreat, there is maybe one man for every ten women. And yet, it was with the few men who were also there during my time that I formed close friendships. Nothing came of "love" as we know it, in the classical sense. But especially the encounter with my roommate from Sweden gave me insights about love and about myself that I needed for my peace of mind. How often do we still get to know someone in a natural way today, really get involved with them, know their quirks and idiosyncrasies, their fears, dreams and desires? In times of Tinder and Co. too many (high) expectations come into play and nobody has the patience and time anymore to really focus on a person. I haven't found a love relationship, but a friendship that became so close in a short time that I initially mistook it for love. But sometimes you are just at different points in life and have a different purpose in the relationship. Mine was perhaps to help someone get involved in love again at some point. Many of my friends in "Suryalila" were single, looking, in a relationship, or found each other there too. Love, in whatever form, was always present. Especially after so many months of distance, in a time when it was possible to meet as few people as possible, it was only here that I realized again: We are all searching for closeness, affection, community, recognition...and love. It is the feeling that connects us all together.

Start living

Also something I learned in "Suryalila" and recently read by my second favorite author Lars Amend (after Paulo Coelho): "Life is not a therapy session. Go out into the world, allow yourself to make mistakes, reflect, make new mistakes, but most of all: finally start living!" How true that is. Many of the people I met at the yoga retreat told me about their longings and desires. That they are searching, for love, for the job that will fulfill them, for the meaning of life. Many of them meditate daily, do yoga regularly, deal with personal development and are on a "spiritual" path, if we want to call it that. Me too, and my life has become much better and easier as a result. But my other roommate from Holland once asked an interesting question in a conversation, "Do you think it's also possible to get too caught up in self-analysis instead of just living and learning from it?" I kept thinking about this and I think he's right. If you're constantly analyzing and thinking too much, you might miss out on the opportunities and possibilities that life keeps giving you. I also believe that you can only live life forward, but you can only understand it backwards. Dare to do something, make mistakes, change direction, learn from it. Getting back up every day, straightening the crown, going out and living your life as you see fit. Even be spontaneous sometimes, have fun and enjoy life to the fullest, because it can be over so quickly. Isn't that exactly what makes us feel alive? Love yourself for trying, Lars Amend would say...I agree!